It is important for all step parents to know that they must proceed with caution in their new role as a step parent in their new family. Many times these children have lost a parent through an accident or a separation of their parents. No matter what the circumstances, raising step children is a situation that takes patience and adaptability.
You need to stress to your new stepchildren that in no way are you going to try to replace their bio parent. If your stepchildren aren't old enough to even consider this issue, then it can be put aside for the moment. Keep in mind also, that your stepchildren will not be impressed if you immediately start to treat them like they were your own kids. It's imperative that your stepchildren understand your role as the spouse of their mother or father and the fact that you must support your new spouse when dealing with the kids when discipline is necessary. However, this doesn't mean that you and your stepchildren can't be friends. You'll have to find the right balance between being a friend and an authority figure in their lives, which can take a little time to figure out.
Patience will be one of the main virtues you bring to your role as a stepparent. It takes a while for a stepchild to accept a new parent figure into their life; so don't look for immediate rapport with the child. Whatever the circumstances that separated your stepchild from the biological parent whose place you have assumed, they are likely to resist you at first. Keep in mind that part of the reason for this resistance and/or resentment is simply the fact that they miss their original parent. A lot of new stepparents try too hard to get accepted by their stepchild. It's important to be consistent, but equally important not to force yourself on the child. In time, the child will relax and accept you. This will come more easily if you just assure them you don't plan to replace their biological parent, but you are there for them whenever they need you.
When you're a step parent, the role of the original biological parent can be a sensitive issue. This is even the case if the original parent has died. He or she will still have a place in your stepchild's heart. In the case of a separation or divorce, when your new partner may have conflicting feelings about the biological parent, this can be tricky. It's not your place to state an opinion about a natural parent who mistreated the kids. You should stay neutral on the subject or even be a little positive if you must say something. Whatever part the biological parent played in the lives of your stepchildren, you have to respect the kids right to keep their own version of their memories.
For instance, a simple rule is that the biological parent should always have command over decisions made regarding the step children. The step parent, even though he or she is not the bio mom or dad, they need to be able to share their opinion with what is occurring in the children's lives. To show the step children that both parents are on the same page, discussions that are heated need to be discussed in private. Building a relationship with the step children is your first step in moving toward learning your new role as their parent. The above tips can be useful to make this transition easier, but you also need the ability to be flexible and go with the flow in a new family environment. Being accepted by the step children in this new family environment will come with time, especially if you do your best to be a great role model and are very patient.
One potent approach to keep the family in good relationships would be to travel frequently. You'll find that families which have the best relationships are families that go on frequent trips together. Start planning your next holiday today, so you can easily reinforce your family ties.
You need to stress to your new stepchildren that in no way are you going to try to replace their bio parent. If your stepchildren aren't old enough to even consider this issue, then it can be put aside for the moment. Keep in mind also, that your stepchildren will not be impressed if you immediately start to treat them like they were your own kids. It's imperative that your stepchildren understand your role as the spouse of their mother or father and the fact that you must support your new spouse when dealing with the kids when discipline is necessary. However, this doesn't mean that you and your stepchildren can't be friends. You'll have to find the right balance between being a friend and an authority figure in their lives, which can take a little time to figure out.
Patience will be one of the main virtues you bring to your role as a stepparent. It takes a while for a stepchild to accept a new parent figure into their life; so don't look for immediate rapport with the child. Whatever the circumstances that separated your stepchild from the biological parent whose place you have assumed, they are likely to resist you at first. Keep in mind that part of the reason for this resistance and/or resentment is simply the fact that they miss their original parent. A lot of new stepparents try too hard to get accepted by their stepchild. It's important to be consistent, but equally important not to force yourself on the child. In time, the child will relax and accept you. This will come more easily if you just assure them you don't plan to replace their biological parent, but you are there for them whenever they need you.
When you're a step parent, the role of the original biological parent can be a sensitive issue. This is even the case if the original parent has died. He or she will still have a place in your stepchild's heart. In the case of a separation or divorce, when your new partner may have conflicting feelings about the biological parent, this can be tricky. It's not your place to state an opinion about a natural parent who mistreated the kids. You should stay neutral on the subject or even be a little positive if you must say something. Whatever part the biological parent played in the lives of your stepchildren, you have to respect the kids right to keep their own version of their memories.
For instance, a simple rule is that the biological parent should always have command over decisions made regarding the step children. The step parent, even though he or she is not the bio mom or dad, they need to be able to share their opinion with what is occurring in the children's lives. To show the step children that both parents are on the same page, discussions that are heated need to be discussed in private. Building a relationship with the step children is your first step in moving toward learning your new role as their parent. The above tips can be useful to make this transition easier, but you also need the ability to be flexible and go with the flow in a new family environment. Being accepted by the step children in this new family environment will come with time, especially if you do your best to be a great role model and are very patient.
One potent approach to keep the family in good relationships would be to travel frequently. You'll find that families which have the best relationships are families that go on frequent trips together. Start planning your next holiday today, so you can easily reinforce your family ties.
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